Gift Exchange
by Maralexa
Summary: When Tony Stark gets an idea, you can be sure as heck that it'll become reality. What will happen when the Avengers have a Christmas gift exchange? And where would the fun be without Loki in the mix? It's all a jumble of fun, humor, and randomocity.
1. Chapter 1: The Idea

**Gift Exchange Chapter 1: The Idea**

**Hey people! I know I'm in college and everything, but me and my friend, Jaxberry (fanfic username), came up with this awesome idea for a one-shot (well, it's more of a two-chapter one-shot) and I just **_**had**_** to do it! Plus, I'm currently on Winter Break, so I have time to spare. The fic is post-Avengers, for all you guys and gals out there that are curious about what happens many years after the movie. AND Christmas was the other day, so why not have a fic about a gift exchange?**

**For those of you who don't know me, I'm Maralexa. I've done seven fanfics (two one-shots and five full fics) that vary between Star Wars, Thor, and the Avengers. One thing you should note is that I do not do slash. So if you're looking for a couple of dude characters making out, then hit the Back button on your web browser because it ain't happening here.**

**For those of you that **_**do**_** know me…did ya miss me? Huh? Did you?**

**As usual, there is a disclaimer at the bottom. Tis in place so I don't get sued or anything from using Marvel's brilliant ideas. And I can't emphasize enough that I WELCOME REVIEWS! I love it when people tell me what they think, so keep 'em coming!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Stark, the number is for _emergencies only_."

"Aw, come on, Nick. You can't sit there and tell me that you haven't missed me. It's been five years!" Tony whined. There was a long pause, and Tony figured it meant that the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D was waiting for the relevance of this conversation. "All right, I'll cut to the chase."

"Good," Fury said. "I expected small talk from you. Spit it out. I haven't got all day."

"So you know how the big rich billionaires always get bored after a while of getting absolutely everything they want at the touch of a button?" Pause. Fury was probably thinking, _Your point?_ Everything had to be so direct and to the point with this guy. It irked Tony to no end. "Well, it's reached the point where _I _have become the big rich billionaire that gets bored after a while of getting absolutely everything at the touch of a button."

"That's nice," Fury said. "Can I get back to work now?"

"No, stay with me. I've got a brilliant idea."

"Oh no, here we go." Fury's voice dripped with sarcasm and weary dread.

"Hey, that hurts."

"Get on with it, Stark."

"Right. What if the Avengers had a reunion? We all gather in Stark Tower and celebrate Christmas together. Get our minds off of our individual lives. That sort of thing."

"And you intend to coordinate this?"

"Of course," Tony said.

A sigh on the other end. At last, Fury relented. "Very well. I will be there. I'm assuming you can contact the others."

"I've got everyone but Thor on speed dial. I'm guessing that their Gatekeeper will know of my plan and inform the big guy. What do you think of Christmas Eve? Tomorrow evening."

"Fine. It will be your responsibility to let everyone know."

Tony grinned. "Great! See you tomorrow."

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY…**

Thor walked briskly through the hallways in Asgard, nodding a greeting to the guards that stood between himself and his brother. They had grown accustomed to Thor's daily visits to Loki's cell, so they simply nodded a greeting back and stepped aside so that Thor could open the doors. As he stepped forward to do so, another guard approached him.

"My Prince, forgive me for the interruption, but Heimdall wishes to see you straightaway," the guard said, placing a fist over his chest and bowing.

Thor glanced regretfully at the closed door, which would lead into a large room with a cell in it that held his brother. "I suppose Loki can wait. Take me to Heimdall."

The guard nodded and led Thor to the Gatekeeper's location before bowing respectfully and leaving them to talk alone.

"Good Heimdall, what is it that you wish to speak with me about?" Thor asked.

"The Midgardians desire your presence at Stark Tower immediately," Heimdall replied in his usual deep, smooth voice.

"Are they in trouble?" Thor asked, alarmed.

"No. It is a simple gathering that the Avengers hope you can attend. They wish to celebrate their Christmas holiday together."

"I will go at once. Heimdall, please use the power of the Tesseract to transport me, and tell my father where I am."

Heimdall nodded. "It will be done, my Prince." In a flash of blue light, the Gatekeeper transported Thor away and turned away to report to the All-Father.

* * *

"Hey, JARVIS, how do I look?"

"Like you always do, sir," JARVIS responded.

"Young and beautiful?"

"Whatever floats your boat, Mr. Stark."

Tony rolled his eyes. "All right, I'll take it. For now." Laughing, Tony plopped down on the couch to wait for his friends to arrive. He had sent them all the memo and received affirmative responses from each of them, so he expected them to be there soon.

"Sir, Captain Steve Rogers wishes to gain entry."

"Well, send him in."

Before long, Steve stepped into the room and looked around. "It sure has been awhile, hasn't it, Stark?"

"Sure has, Cap. What, no hug?" Steve made a face. "Okay, I suppose not. Ooh, look. Clint and Natasha are here." He pointed at the large television screen, which displayed a perfect view of the entrance to Stark Tower.

"Do you find that entertaining?" Steve asked.

"Why yes, yes I do. Thanks for asking." Tony waited a few more moments before the two S.H.I.E.L.D agents entered. "Welcome to the new and improved Stark Tower. You like?"

"It's nice," Natasha said.

"That's all you've got to say on the matter? It's _nice_?" Tony pouted.

"That's a lot coming from her, Stark," Clint pointed out. Natasha shoved him lightly, initiating a smirk from the archer. "I regret nothing."

"Okay, that's three. Just three more." He turned to face the agents. "Director Fury _is_ coming, right?"

Natasha nodded. "Yes, he should be here soon."

"I saw him when I came in," a new voice said.

Tony turned around. "Oh, hey there, Doctor Banner." Bruce stood in the doorway, quiet and awkward as ever. "Dammit, JARVIS. Let me know when people arrive, will ya?"

"I'm sorry, sir."

"It really doesn't matter," Bruce said uncomfortably. "I just figured I'd stop by and see what's going on."

"Glad you could make it." Tony smiled warmly. "Don't be a stranger. Come on in."

Bruce took a few steps forward, just as a flash of blue light signaled the arrival of Thor. The god of thunder was soon standing just where Bruce had been seconds ago.

Thor beamed. "My friends! How wonderful to see all of you again."

"Hey, Thor!" Tony's grin widened. "Now we just need Fury to drag his butt over here. I'm pretty sure that—"

"All right, Stark, let's get this over with," Fury said dryly as he stepped in.

"JARVIS!"

"Sorry, sir. Nick Fury is—"

"A silent ninja, I know." He cleared his throat before continuing. "Welcome to Stark Tower, everybody. Glad you could all make it."

"So…what exactly are you up to, Stark?" Natasha asked.

"…I don't know exactly. Hey, I got you guys here. That's _my_ contribution. I did my part."

Steve frowned thoughtfully. "I feel like the connection we had is mostly gone. As if we don't know each other like we used to."

"He has a point," Natasha said. "Aside from Clint and me, none of the Avengers really see each other anymore."

"That'd be why I called us here," Tony pointed out.

"It's been so long that—" Steve began, but was interrupted by Tony.

"I got it! A gift exchange!"

"…A what?" Thor looked confused.

Tony was positively ecstatic. "All right, here's how it's going down. We each pick a random name from a hat. A _holographic_ hat. JARVIS, set it up, please!" A holographic hat appeared in front of the Avengers. "Just stick your hand in and pull out a little holographic piece of paper. And _don't_ read it out loud. We'll find out who has who on Christmas Day. So, we don't have much time to get our ducks in a row." He paused a moment, and when no one moved, he shrugged. "I'll go first." Tony reached into the hat and pulled out a little slip. It said THOR. Grinning, he thought, _I'm going to have fun with this one…_ "Okay, Cap, you're up!"

Steve walked uncertainly up to the holographic hat. He had never seen anything like it. "All right…" He reached into the hat and pulled out a slip. It said BRUCE. Steve wasn't entirely sure what to get a doctor-scientist that turned into a giant green monster at will, but he would worry about that later.

"Pick someone to go next, Cap," Tony urged him.

"Okay, how about Natasha?"

Natasha stepped confidently up to the hat and picked up a slip that said TONY. She then nodded to Clint to pick his next.

Clint's slip said STEVE, Bruce's slip said NATASHA, and Thor's said CLINT. Everyone now had someone to get a gift for.

"All right, kids, run along home now and do your homework. You can get any gift you want for your person. Doesn't matter. Just get something, wrap it up, and bring it here tomorrow. Got it? Get it? Good. See ya on Christmas!"

* * *

"Brother!"

Loki inwardly groaned as he heard Thor burst in the door. What could Thor possibly gain from visiting him every day? He hasn't gotten a single word out of Loki yet, so why does he expect to get anything now?

"Brother, I require your assistance."

This surprised Loki into responding. "What, pray tell, could you possibly want from _me_?"

"I am to get Clint Barton a gift, and I need you to help me."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "And how am I supposed to do that? Even you are not so daft as to overlook that I am in a cell, I am not a giver by nature, and I would have no desire to assist you in any way, shape, or form. Plus, Barton has a quarrel with me. I controlled him, remember?"

Thor paused. That was true, but he really needed his brother to help him with this. Loki was one of the most intelligent beings that Thor knew, and it wouldn't hurt to have a little bit of bonding time. "I asked Father if it is all right to seek your assistance on this. He agreed, as long as you are restrained the whole time." Thor gazed at him imploringly. "Please, brother. You could use some time out of that cell. I know that fresh air will do you some good."

Loki laughed. "Fresh air? Since when do you care about my well-being, Thor?"

"I always have, and you know it."

Loki sighed. He knew Thor very well. The god of thunder would certainly not stop badgering him about it until he got the answer he wanted. Which would be more annoying? Accompanying Thor on this little escapade, or listening to him whine about their severed ties? Plus, he might be able to have some fun with this. It has been a while since he has been given an opportunity to unleash a little mischief. "Very well, Thor," he said at last. "I may live to regret this, but…I will help you." Thor grinned, but Loki cut him off before he could speak. "I will help you on one condition."

"I will not free you of your charges," Thor said.

"I did not expect you to," Loki said curtly.

"Then what is your condition?" Thor asked, confused.

Loki smiled impishly. "Allow me to be there to watch the fun."

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. Marvel does. If I did own the Avengers, imagine how filthy stinking rich I would be! xD**

**Next Chapter will be up soon! Be looking for that! For now, though, send me your REVIEWS! The sooner I hear feedback, the quicker I'll post the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Real Deal

**Gift Exchange Chapter 2: The Real Deal**

**Well, here it is! The second (and final) chapter! :D I know, it was a short fic. I might do something longer some other time. Who knows? Anyways, I LOVED the great reviews. It looks like a lot of you are happy to see me emerge once again in the Fanfiction universe. Well, here we go. Disclaimer at the bottom as always, as well as a few closing notes. Read, review, and enjoy!**

**Thepowersss: Thanks for the great review! I'm glad you like all my stories. I try to write to the best of my ability. :)**

**Vana Jedi: Yup, I'm BACK! :D Sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth. College. Bleh.**

**Pergjithshme: Yeah, college is pretty good. The only depressing thing is that I never have ANY time for Fanfiction besides my roleplay sessions.**

**The Pearl Maiden: I'm sure you won't be disappointed in the gift that Clint will be getting. ;)**

**Cassy27: Ah, you're right. I didn't really think much about Fury. I probably should have included him, but oh well. xD We'll just pin that one to Tony's...um...Tonyness.**

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY…**

Tony worked all morning on making the place look perfect for Christmas. He placed his gift for Thor under a gigantic tree with glittering lights and bright ornaments. It was not long before all of the Avengers, minus Thor, arrived with their gifts.

"Welcome!" Tony said, bowing. "Place your gifts under the tree and we'll sit in a circle like good little children and wait for Thor."

The Avengers did just that and waited patiently for Thor. It was not long before the god himself appeared with Loki by his side.

"What gives, Thor?" Tony demanded.

"Hello, my friends!" Thor said, grinning and holding a strangely-wrapped gift. "My brother helped me pick this out."

Tony sighed. "Oh boy. I feel bad for whatever poor sucker Thor is giving that to."

Thor grinned. "You mean Barton?"

"…Me?" Clint was stunned.

Loki grinned, clearly enjoying this. "Yes, Barton."

Barton swallowed nervously.

"Right. As long as it's not poisonous or blow-upy, I think he can take it like a man. Now, who's first?" Tony asked.

"Well, since he knows who his 'Secret Santa' is, I think Clint should go first," Natasha said reasonably.

"All right…" Clint looked uncharacteristically nervous. "Put it under the tree. I don't want to approach _him_." He nodded toward Loki, who was smirking gleefully. The trickster clearly enjoyed watching the Avengers on edge.

"Hey, it's Christmas. Let's try to keep it cool here," Tony said.

Clint nodded. "All right…" He approached the tree, where Thor had left the gift, and got back into the circle.

"Let's make space for Thor," Steve suggested.

"Loki is _not_ sitting next to me," Clint said stiffly.

"He's not even going to be _in_ the circle," Tony assured them. "Don't worry. Thor, can you put your brother on a leash, please? If he's going to be here, he may as well be chained to something so he doesn't murder everyone in the room."

Thor shrugged. "If you insist." He sat Loki down and chained one of his hands to a table. Loki didn't seem bothered by this in the least. He managed to maintain his amused expression quite well. Even when Thor sat down in the circle, Loki felt entertained.

"Go ahead, Barton," Thor said eagerly.

Clint worriedly opened up the gift, then blinked in surprise when it revealed a female action figure in a box. "What is this?" he asked. "Is that from that movie?" The box said KATNISS EVERDEEN on the front.

Thor looked genuinely confused at Clint's reaction. "Loki said you would like it. You share similar interests with her. And because you do not have a woman, I thought she may keep you company."

Tony burst out laughing. "Oh my gosh! That's hilarious! Thor is dead serious, too! Wow, Clint. Have fun with your new _girlfriend_." Clint blushed a little. "Okay, we'll go in reverse order. Thor, you're up."

Thor picked up his gift and eagerly tore it open, wondering who it is from. He opened the box and pulled out a long red set of curtains. "What is this?" he boomed.

"I thought you liked wearing your mother's drapes!" Tony piped up, laughing hysterically.

"You did this?" Thor asked.

"Forgive me," Tony said, still laughing. "I got you this as a consolation gift." He handed Thor a large box.

"Should I trust you?" Thor asked.

"You'll love it. Trust me."

Not quite believing him, Thor opened the box to reveal a coffee maker, a container of coffee, and two boxes of Pop Tarts. He grinned.

"I told you so," Tony said, laughing. Okay, I guess it's my turn to open mine. Steve tried to hand it to him, but he declined. "I hate being handed things. You know this. Put it down." Steve put it down and Tony picked up the gift with his name on it and opened it eagerly, only to find a Barbie Doll Ironing set. It was complete with a Barbie, some clothes, an ironing table, and, most importantly of all, an iron. "What the—?"

Natasha kept a dead-serious face. "It's Iron Woman. Your dream girl. She's even got the perfect figure and blonde hair."

"Very cute, Natasha." Tony made a face. Of _course_ he would get Natasha as his giver. They went back, and it didn't end with a very trusting relationship. "I'll cherish it forever."

"Glad you like it." She smirked.

"You're up, Tasha," Clint said, still laughing about the Iron Woman bit.

Natasha took her gift and opened it. It was a water gun. "Ha, very funny."

"Well, I figured next time you want to shoot me, you can threaten me with water instead of bullets," Bruce pointed out. "Water won't trigger the other guy. Bullets will. So…Merry Christmas. You get a new method of threatening me."

Natasha laughed lightly. "Thank you, Bruce. I'll be using it on Stark, most likely."

Tony gave Bruce a look. "Thanks. Thanks a lot."

Bruce laughed, then realized that it was his turn. He swallowed nervously and took the package addressed to him. When he opened it, he looked genuinely puzzled. "Deodorant?" He turned to Steve, who, when it was narrowed down, was the only possible giver in the room. "Is there a story behind that?"

"It's because you stink," Tony said.

Steve smiled. "No, I just couldn't think of what to get you. But there's something else in that package. Look."

Indeed there was. It was a little Hulk plushie.

"Squeeze him," Steve urged.

When Bruce did so, the plushie shouted, "HULK SMASH!"

Bruce smiled. "Thank you, Captain."

"You're up, Cap," Tony said. "You're the last one."

Loki leaned forward a little bit, quite eager to see what Barton had gotten the captain. Everyone wondered what was in the little box, which was the smallest of them all. Steve opened it with care and revealed a beautiful wristwatch. He smiled and examined it, and was about to thank Clint when he noticed something.

"What is it?" Clint asked, trying so hard not to laugh. "What's the matter?" Steve's eyes were wide as he stared at the watch.

"This watch…is made in _Germany_!"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. Marvel does. I also don't own Katniss, or her merchandise. If that exists. I'm sure it does. I'm too lazy to Google Katniss Action Figures.**

**Well, what did you think? Did you like it? Did you? DID YOU? Leave me a review if you liked it, hated it, or thought it was so-so. Obviously, if you got this far, you either really liked it, or felt compelled to keep reading even though it wasn't that interesting. Either way, I'd like to hear your thoughts. So…let's hear them! If I REALLY like your review, I might PM you a response or a thank-you type deal. So give me some good feedback. That be all.**

**BYE!**


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